Seven Things You Should Never Say to a Home Maker

Home Making isn't just blowing bubbles with kids and playing dress up at home.

I might be preaching to the choir as many of you, dear readers, are Home Makers. But hopefully, Google will direct the uninformed here when they type, “How to talk to a Home Maker” in the search field.

Here is a simple list for those of you who can’t imagine staying at home. I don’t care if your brother is a Stay At Home Dad, or if your best friend, a former Lawyer, has decided to take a break from her prestigious position to be a Home Maker. Please, refrain from ever saying the following:

1) Wow, your outfit makes you look like real a Mom.

2) So, when do you think you’ll go back to work?

3) It sure is dusty around here.

4) When was the last time you mopped the floor?

5) Calling about an hour before you’re supposed to arrive for dinner at the Home Maker’s House saying, “I’m really sorry, I just need some me time, can I take a rain check?” Likely, the Home Maker spent the whole day getting ready for you.

6) So, what do you do all day?

7) It must be fun to sit around the house and play all day.

What are some things a Home Maker would like to hear?

I can’t speak for all of us, but from my experience, it’d be nice to hear more of this:

– “I love how you’ve decorated the living room. It feels so ___(compliment).”

– “How’s your day going?” Key here is to really listen to the answer and not try to one-up any topic.

– Notice anything new around the house or yard, and pay an applicable compliment like, “Looks like you and the kids have been having fun in the yard.” Or, “Wow, your garden is growing beautifully.”

The point is that you need to think of the Home Makers in your lives like you would any other colleague or expert you’d meet at a networking event. Find some common ground for conversation and  really listen.

I’ve only experienced a few of the above comments, and have pretty awesome friends and family. But, talking to others at the Playground, people are still a little clueless sometimes.

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About Holli

A "cooking from scratch" geek, Mom, Wife, Seattle Native, Photographer and serial volunteer.
This entry was posted in Family, Home Making and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Seven Things You Should Never Say to a Home Maker

  1. Sybil says:

    Ha! Love it. Luckily I rarely get those random questions, but I get weird looks, like “huh, interesting”. Especially if I am in a new group, like book club, and many of them don’t have kids and we are chatting about jobs. Instead of “when will you back to work” I DO like asking moms (I call myself a SAHM) if they have plans to go back to work. I don’t, though, and I think as your kids grow you start meeting fewer and fewer moms who are in that boat. Super easy to find SAHMs when your kid is one. Not so easy when they are (almost) five and seven.
    We are an interesting breed, to be sure 😉

  2. JoAnne says:

    I know only one person who would say any of those things to a homemaker/stay at home mom, and that person is a relative so I don’t have a choice. Those remarks reflect incredible thoughtlessness or just plain rudeness, but it’s surprising how many people these days seem totally ignorant of or oblivious to the basic standards of civilized behavior.

    I like that you call yourself “homemaker.” Homemaking is an art and a science and vocation that requires far deeper commitment and more serious dedication than most careers outside the home. The world has lost a lot (including common civilized behavior) since we stopped regarding it as such (thanks to gender feminist dogma).

    • holliwithani says:

      I agree that people say the rudest things, but seem totally unaware about the fact. It’s always amazing to hear the stories of other SAHM’s at the playground.

      I’ve even met a few fellow SAHM’s who’ve asked me in a shy kinda tone, “So, are you at home with the kids?” When i say yes, you can almost see them sigh in relief and excitement as they say, “Me too.” Especially around my neighborhood, there are many families who cannot afford not have both parents work, so you see parents alternating shifts – the result is seeing Mom’s at the playground who are working nights but appear to be SAHM’s because they’re out during the day.

      Thanks for your comment!

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